Difficult Relationship? Love Forward.

Treat that person as if they were already living up to your expectations.

Treat that person as if they were already living up to your expectations.

“I’m done–I will not this behavior any longer!” We’ve all been at the end of our rope at some point with the challenging people in our lives. We have decided—they need to change, or else…


  • If Mr. Difficult Spouse is rude one more time, I’ll…
  • If Mrs. Difficult Boss passes me over for promotion again, I’ll…
  • If Miss Difficult Co-Worker takes credit for my work one more, I’ll…


Just so you know: Whatever you’re planning to do, it probably won’t work. Would you like to know what will?


Love forward, before you see any change. In other words, treat that person as if they were already living up to your expectations.


“Whoa! Do you know how long they’ve been acting this way? They will never change.”


Try changing the only person you can control—you. If you change, the other person must change too. Consider Newton’s Third Law of Physics law of physics, which states: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For example, if we exert force on an object like a pendulum, the pendulum swings back in our direction with the same amount of force. This is a truth of the natural world. But do you realize it’s also a truth in the world of relationships?


The Bible says it this way: We will reap what we sow. (Galatians 6:7) When we live to satisfy our own selfish desires (the need to be right, the need to win every confrontation, the need to have everything our way), we’ll receive the same treatment—after all, that’s what we planted.


Galatians 6:7, King James Version

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”


We can stop the pattern of negative reactions in our relationships by walking in God’s “love” principle. Each person is responsible for what he or she sows. If we sow seeds of love, we will reap a harvest of love. When we act in love, we start a chain reaction.


Love is a force.


“But, why should I do anything loving, when “they” are not doing anything that deserves love?”


Ah, that’s where faith comes in. When a principle is true, it works regardless of how we feel. It works at all times in every situation—that’s why it’s called a principle. Don’t trust the person? Fine, just have faith in God and trust His principles.


Mark 10:27, Living Bible

“Jesus looked at them intently, then said, “Without God, it is utterly impossible. But with God everything is possible.”


God wants us to trust Him enough to love each other in advance because He told us too. Yes, we are to love people in their current state—flaws and all.


John 13:34, King James Version

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”


God specializes in transforming difficult people. God changed us, remember?


1 Corinthians 6:10-12, Living Bible

“…Those who live immoral lives, who are idol worshipers, adulterers or homosexuals—will have no share in his Kingdom. Neither will thieves or greedy people, drunkards, slanderers, or robbers. There was a time when some of you were just like that but now your sins are washed away, and you are set apart for God; and he has accepted you because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.Net


Valerie Morrow

Valerie Morrow was born-again at the tender age of 5, but has been chasing Jesus and the will of God seriously for about 10 years. She is well acquainted with the struggles and triumphs of Christian women. As a busy (we prefer the word productive) wife, mother, entrepreneur, leader, ministry student and writer, she focuses on being well-balanced, as a necessity in life. Valerie has been a waitress, a secretary, a receptionist, a marketing assistant, an account coordinator, an account manager, a marketing director, a business owner and the "candy lady." She has learned the meaning of being secure in Christ regardless of your position or function in life and loves to share her insights through devotionals, bible studies and "self- improvement" articles from a Biblical perspective. Valerie is the wife of Henry Morrow and the mother of two children. She is an active member of Victory Life Faith Center under the leadership of Pastor Lewis Brown.

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