So you are well into your first year of marriage and you begin to realize something–I didn’t learn any of this in the pre-marital counseling class! Oh yes, you discussed finances, communication skills, even that darned 10 letter word…submission! Now you are reaching that two-year mark where most couples will make the decision to divorce…(the other being after 20 years when the kids are all grown up) But I submit that if you have never been up close and personal with a real “Christian” relationship during your adolescent and teen years, my theory is that it will be a little tough to carry one out. Mind you, I said “tough” NOT “impossible”!
What we fail to realize is that while ALL of the tools to empower and prepare us for marriage are great, what you need the most, is the hardest to impart…and it has everything to do with the right HEART ATTITUDE!
We literally have to unlearn old…
(In other words, we should learn how to be a wise wife, like Queen Esther. Queen Esther…whew! Now that’s another article! Loads of wisdom there! I encourage you to read her story in the Bible in the Book of Esther, and ask God to speak to your heart while doing so!)
So moving on…you’re divorced! Now what? God has made you promises, even to give you the desires of your heart. You want to be married and have a family. You don’t want your children to grow up without a father, et cetera.
Whatever your reason for wanting to be married is, take note of a couple of Do’s and Don’ts you need to be aware of before you visit the altar again:
Allow for God-time! It may be 3 months or 3 years, but the time you give Him to work on YOU will prove to be invaluable! He will also show you that He is truly your ultimate Husband, Provider, and Friend! You will learn what it means to put your TRUST in Him and not man! And your future spouse will praise God for it!
Rush into another relationship! Whether you realize it or not, you are still carrying baggage from the old relationship and you need healing!It’s TIME that heals all things, not(a)MAN!
Discover and Develop! Seek the Lord and His plan for your life! Find out who you are to God…What has He called you to do? What do you love to do? Where you see yourself in 5 years? Develop and strengthen your gifts, talents, and abilities! (In other words, get busy living! Seek the Kingdom first and all else will be added!)
Wallow in sorrow! The standard time for mourning a death in the bible was thirty days, and a divorce is a death! Now, you will need more time for self-reflection, dealing with any anger, bitterness, or resentment that rears it’s ugly head, counseling, etc…but do NOT wallow, and continue in your pity party! Get yourself up and out and face this challenge like the Woman of God you were created to be! Get help if necessary! (And by the way, pigs wallow–and who wants to be like a pig?)
Pray for DISCERNMENT! Now that you have your life together and you’re going after the things of God, you better believe the devil will come as an “angel of light” to get you entangled with a counterfeit man! (he comes before the real one) So have your antennae up high (in the heavenlies), your eyes wide open, and your ears attuned, ready to hear the Lord! (You are a Woman of God, priced far above rubies! The devil would love for you to sell yourself short and steal your future!)
Assume! If you meet someone, ask God to show you this person’s true nature in the Spirit, and don’t make any moves until you know who he is for sure! Be slow to move and slow to speak! (As my mentor would say…Ask God to “Pull the cover!” Don’t get tricked out there!)